Lately, for some reason, I have been very aware of things in my life that wouldn't be the same if it weren't for adoption. It's been a running list in my head. And I can't seem to shake it.
If it weren't for adoption:
- My dad and mom wouldn't be my dad and mom.
- My childhood memories would be totally different.
- I wouldn't have a cousin Sheri Jo. Or and Uncle Bob who calls me Marie.
- None of the 16 people I call cousins would be my cousins.
- I wouldn't share a childhood full of memories with my brother Kim.
- I wouldn't have had a grandma who always had butterscotch candy and Bazooka bubble gum in the drawer whenever I came to visit.
- Or a grandma who seemed to be able to cook anything, for any number of people, without a recipe and make it all incredibly delicious.
- I bet I never would have moved irrigation pipe at a farm in Nebraska on our "family vacation."
- No one would have called me "Jody Poody".
If it weren't for adoption:
- I would not have known that God might speak to me through an 8 year old little boy.
- I would not have glitter in my vacuum.
- There would be no pink in our house.
- I would have missed a huge lesson on faith and trusting God (again through a certain 8 year old boy who never waivered in knowing what God had told him He would do).
- I would not know a single thing about ballet.
- Honestly, I probably would never have gone to a ballet.
- And I certainly wouldn't have been giddy to go to the ballet whenever I can, especially with a beautiful little ballerina next to me.
- I would not have given art a second thought.
- I would not enjoy art museums and be so tuned in to the beauty of things around me.
- I wouldn't know an Asian district even existed in OKC.
- I never would have traveled to China. It wasn't even ON my bucket list.
- I would never know how you can fall in love with someone you have never seen, don't know where they are, but just know that God has placed them right in the middle of your heart.
- I would not have seen God provide for us in the most unique ways.
- I wouldn't have friends named Jenny, Stacy, Stephanie, Holly, Heather, Tracie, Kathy, and many more...all who share a common bond. And a whole community of people who were called to a similar journey.
- I would have an extra bedroom (what a waste of space). :)
- It would be eerily quiet and "giggleless" in our home.
- There wouldn't be a trail of Clara throughout the house.
- I would not even know what an American Girl doll was.
- I would never have anyone ask me "could you wash this pillow case for Judy too?" (Judy is a bitty baby...which ties into the whole American Girl thing.)
- I would only have laughed at people who said their babies played in their dirty diapers in their cribs and smeared poop all over, confident that "no child of mine would ever do that". (Lesson learned...never say never.)
- I would never have a child who cut their own hair...and laid it nicely in my makeup drawer (like I'd never find it there) and hide the scissors in the rolls of toilet paper.
- I would never sit in a 3rd grade program with tears in my eyes thinking to myself "I can't believe she is ours! God is amazing how he brought us all together."
- I would not have stood with my friend Jenny and watched our two girls, both from China, be baptized together at church one Christmas Eve.
- Honestly, I would never have sung "The sun will come out, tomorrow", outloud, in a movie theater.
The list goes on and on. I am so aware of what would have been missing in our lives. And believe me, I have fully, fully enjoyed being Harrison's mom. I never had a sense that anything was missing in my life...UNTIL God spoke adoption into our hearts. Frequently Harrison says "do you know how boring our family would be without Clara?" (I try not to take offense to that statement.) God is good!
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