Who wasn't there...

I enjoy my kids, they make me laugh!  Not to say they never make me want to pull my hair out...I had a near-hairless moment this week after jean shopping with the big one.  But as a rule...they crack me up.  And the little one, she ranks right up there with Carol Burnett (yes, I realize this dates me).   So, to be fair, I feel I must share some of the most recent Claraisms.  I will warn you, if you need to go to the bathroom you might go now...because some of these might make you wet yourself.  Just sayin!!  (The translation for the bold words will be in parenthesis.) 

 - "Bah gee go.  It's 3 words."  (bald eagle)

 - "Jackie Nimble, Jackie Quick" (Jack be nimble, Jack be quick)

 - "Old little woman who lived in a shoe....that doesn't make any sense!  People need to live in houses or parments." (apartments)

 - "Jesus and God are fun!  Cuz you get to worship them!"

 - "Baba Black sheep can you any wool?  Yes sir, yes sir, three and four."

 - "Little Bo Peep lost her sheep, she couldn't go find them.  ACTUALLY...just leave them alone, that's it."

 - Twice in one day Clara came up to me and she had blue marker all around her mouth and lips.  So I said "your lips and face are blue"....her response, "I didn't do it."  REALLY?  Who keeps doing that to her!?

 - She has a new escape tactic when wrestling with her brother...it's really effective....LICK HIM! 

 - In the car one afternoon she was counting (and she does know how to count quite well), "4, 7, 9, 13, 17".  So I asked "were you wanting to count by odd numbers, like 1, 3, 5, 7, 9?  Or by even numbers, like 2, 4, 6, 8, 10?"  She replied "I'm counting by zeros...it's pretty tricky." 

 - Same day, she gets in the car and tells me that the counselor came to their class and read to them.  So I asked what book she read.  Clara's answer?  "Little Red Hiding Hole".  (Little Red Riding Hood....maybe we should read more classics.)

 - Same day....we go to the dentist and when we are getting out of the car she announces that she can't get her seat belt unbuckled.  Hmmmm!  Unusual!  Well, when you zip your sweater shut around the buckle (after you buckled it), it gets confusing when you try to get out.

 - SAME DAY....this is our conversation (and I swear, I couldn't make this up if I wanted to).
  C (Clara) - Who wasn't there.  (lack of question mark is intentional...it was a statement)
  M (Mommy) - Who wasn't where?
  C - Who wasn't there. 
  M - Who wasn't where?
  C -  Yeah, who wasn't there.
  M - What are we talking about?
  C - Who wasn't there. 
  M - Are we talking about school?
  C - Yes...who wasn't there.
  M - Honey, I wasn't at school, I don't know who wasn't there.
  C - Who wasn't there.
  M - I don't know!  (Frustration implied)  Who wasn't at school today?
  C - Exactly.  Who wasn't there.
  M - Clara, I don't know what you are talking about....who wasn't there?
  C - Who.
  M - Do you want to tell me who wasn't at school?  Because I wasn't there and I don't know who wasn't at school.
  C - Who wasn't at school?
  M - (Light bulb moment)  Are you saying "Hugh" wasn't at school today?
  C -  That's what I said, Who wasn't at school. 

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! 

Creepy!

Things that creep me out...

 - Mice.  EWWWW!!!  Even if you put them in a cage and call them a gerbil...still creepy!

 - Albino crickets. 

 - Worm graveyards.  You know what I mean.  Big rain.  It stops.  You go outside and there is a worm graveyard all over the cement.  

 - Food with the head left on it. 

 - Food with head parts.  For instance, when I opened a pot on the stove when I was a little girl and there was a giant (to me...but probably normal sized) cow tongue cooking.  My dad denies it, but I can still see it in my mind today.

 - Food that involves feet.  No, I do not want any chicken feet thank you!

 - And while we're at it....no food with animal private parts.  Enough said! 

 - Fingernail or toenail injuries.  Made me shutter thinking of it.  Cut your head off, have a heart attack, have a bug in your ear....I'm good.  But please don't have a nail injury. 

 - When people talk with a bubble in their throat.  Clear your throat already! 

 -  A server who licks the milk shake off the side of your cup before she hands it to you!  Happened to my husband once. 

 - When someone talks to you and obviously "knows you well" and you have absolutely no idea who they are. 

 - I think the previous statement may be related to my age.  So, I guess turning 50 kind of creeps me out. 

Just sayin...

50??? How did that happen???

A couple weeks ago I turned 50.  I thought I'd sit down and blog about it as soon as it happened.  But I forgot.  You will see that as a theme from now on I'm afraid!  Actually, it was pretty painless.  And in some ways, it was pretty delightful.  For example, a few days before I turned 50 several of my very dearest friends celebrated with me at a local tea room.  It was so fun to look around the table and think about how each of these friends became so dear to me.  Mandi, I met when she was 3 and I was helping teach her Sunday school class.  Her mom Susan, I met a few years later in a small group at church.  She was actually in the room with us when Harrison was born...and several years later Harrison was in Mandi's wedding.  Kela, JJ, and Kari I met when our kids were all in Sonshine School together.  Kristin and I became good friend when we were pregnant with our teenagers and we have shared many milestones together.  Merlene and I met when we were homeroom moms together in 1st grade (for the now teenagers).  Christine, Jenni and Robin I all met through Harrison's friendships with their kiddos.  And Jill is my sweet neighbor.  Most of us have laughed together, cried together, shared parenting advice, and so much more.  When my mom died three years ago, Christine was with us.  Within a couple of hours Jill had lunch at our house and Merlene had brought dinner.  And when I walked out at my mom's funeral, there sat several of these friends who had driven 150 miles to support me.  I am blessed!!!

Then, Tuesday night, Joe walked in the house....followed by my sweet friend Christi who had flown in from San Antonio to surprise me!  What a wonderful surprise!  Sometimes you just need some girl time with one of your besties!  Some yummy food, a couple of glasses of wine, and a little shopping....perfect time with my friend.  What a blessing to have Christi fly up for 24 hours just to make my day special.  I have the best friends!!!

And then, dinner with my family at my favorite Japanese hibachi restaurant.  Sometimes I look at my little family and I'm amazed at what God has done in my life! 

Now, I have to say, that 50 brings several kind of realizations.  There are the usual things like wrinkles, sagging, aches and pains.  But I had to kind of giggle at some of the other things.  Here are a few things I've picked up on lately...

 - When you are 50 and you have a kindergartener, you are just fine with watching the younger, first time moms sign up for everything. 
 - At 50....it is not a good idea to keep your foot cream and hair pomade in the same location....you might get them confused one day....just sayin! 
 - When you are 50 you get a lot more "well bless your heart" comments.  Like the girl at bootcamp who was whining about how she was too old for all this (I might add she weighs like 90 pounds).  I asked how old she was, she said 38.  I told her I'm 50.  She said "well, I have 3 kids"...(hear the WAAAAHHH! in my voice)...well, I have a kindergartener.  Wait for it...."Oh, bless you heart!  I thought I was old when I had my last one!"  I just smiled.  Or the lady at the Clinique counter who complimented my haircut and asked if I had always worn it short.  I told her that I had let it grow, thinking I'd leave it long until I turned 50 but actually cut it a few months early.  She said "You're 50?  Do you have kids?"  I give her the low down....a 15 year old and a 6 year old.  Wait for it...."Oh!  Bless your heart!  That must be what keeps you so young." 
 - My "max weight limit" changes everytime I hit a milestone birthday.  It's very liberating!  : )
 - One day I put on a new necklace and think to myself "before I wear this again I need to change the charms around so it clasps the other way" (it was set up for a leftie).  Then the next day I put the necklace on I think "before I wear this again I need to change the charms around so it clasps the other way".  A couple days later I put the necklace on and I think "before I wear this again I need to change the charms around so it clasps the other way."  Geez!
 - You dress your child cute for picture day at school.  And it never even crosses your mind to fill out the form and send a check....kind of like you've never done this before. 
 - Last weekend I was texting a friend in Nebraska during the Nebraska game.  She mentioned something about a missed extra point because she knows the kicker.  I was thinking to myself, "how did I miss that...I thought I was paying attention."  So I don't say anything.  Then about 15 minutes later I realize we had DVR'd the game and started it about 45 minutes late so we were not even seeing the same plays while we were texting.  DERRR!

                        In honor of my 50th birthday, I'll post a few pictures from my younger days. 
                                   This is my brother Kim and I at my grandparents farm back in 1964

               My favorite picture with my brother (the church in the back ground was where my dad was pastor).

                              Ahhhh!  The 70's!  I was probably 13 or 14 here.  We were big stuff!!!

At 50, I'd have to say you might as well have a sense of humor about yourself.  And the best part is, if you do something embarrassing, there's a good chance you won't even remember tomorrow!  Life is good!!!