Who wasn't there...

I enjoy my kids, they make me laugh!  Not to say they never make me want to pull my hair out...I had a near-hairless moment this week after jean shopping with the big one.  But as a rule...they crack me up.  And the little one, she ranks right up there with Carol Burnett (yes, I realize this dates me).   So, to be fair, I feel I must share some of the most recent Claraisms.  I will warn you, if you need to go to the bathroom you might go now...because some of these might make you wet yourself.  Just sayin!!  (The translation for the bold words will be in parenthesis.) 

 - "Bah gee go.  It's 3 words."  (bald eagle)

 - "Jackie Nimble, Jackie Quick" (Jack be nimble, Jack be quick)

 - "Old little woman who lived in a shoe....that doesn't make any sense!  People need to live in houses or parments." (apartments)

 - "Jesus and God are fun!  Cuz you get to worship them!"

 - "Baba Black sheep can you any wool?  Yes sir, yes sir, three and four."

 - "Little Bo Peep lost her sheep, she couldn't go find them.  ACTUALLY...just leave them alone, that's it."

 - Twice in one day Clara came up to me and she had blue marker all around her mouth and lips.  So I said "your lips and face are blue"....her response, "I didn't do it."  REALLY?  Who keeps doing that to her!?

 - She has a new escape tactic when wrestling with her brother...it's really effective....LICK HIM! 

 - In the car one afternoon she was counting (and she does know how to count quite well), "4, 7, 9, 13, 17".  So I asked "were you wanting to count by odd numbers, like 1, 3, 5, 7, 9?  Or by even numbers, like 2, 4, 6, 8, 10?"  She replied "I'm counting by zeros...it's pretty tricky." 

 - Same day, she gets in the car and tells me that the counselor came to their class and read to them.  So I asked what book she read.  Clara's answer?  "Little Red Hiding Hole".  (Little Red Riding Hood....maybe we should read more classics.)

 - Same day....we go to the dentist and when we are getting out of the car she announces that she can't get her seat belt unbuckled.  Hmmmm!  Unusual!  Well, when you zip your sweater shut around the buckle (after you buckled it), it gets confusing when you try to get out.

 - SAME DAY....this is our conversation (and I swear, I couldn't make this up if I wanted to).
  C (Clara) - Who wasn't there.  (lack of question mark is intentional...it was a statement)
  M (Mommy) - Who wasn't where?
  C - Who wasn't there. 
  M - Who wasn't where?
  C -  Yeah, who wasn't there.
  M - What are we talking about?
  C - Who wasn't there. 
  M - Are we talking about school?
  C - Yes...who wasn't there.
  M - Honey, I wasn't at school, I don't know who wasn't there.
  C - Who wasn't there.
  M - I don't know!  (Frustration implied)  Who wasn't at school today?
  C - Exactly.  Who wasn't there.
  M - Clara, I don't know what you are talking about....who wasn't there?
  C - Who.
  M - Do you want to tell me who wasn't at school?  Because I wasn't there and I don't know who wasn't at school.
  C - Who wasn't at school?
  M - (Light bulb moment)  Are you saying "Hugh" wasn't at school today?
  C -  That's what I said, Who wasn't at school. 

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!