Time for some Claraisms

My girl is funny!  Okay...hysterical!  And she still just says the cutest things.  So, it's time for some of the latest Claraisms.  Enjoy!

"Daddy, we went to Sonic and I had teeter totters."  (tater tots)

"Wanna play a game of wool?"  (war)

"Beniz naughty ducks..."  (Feliz Navidad)

Clara calls her big brother "Buddy"......
   "Buddy loves syrup.  Not Buddy our son." 

She is learning to read, so I bought a classic collection of  "Dick and Jane" books....but she calls them
  "Chick and Jane" or occasionally "Nook and Jane". 

She told Buddy one day "you are giving me a hiccup."

"If you spell dog backwards it spells Jesus."

Clara loves to eat "Chicken Slow Made" (chicken lo mein)

"Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Kai Lan laid an egg."  (She carries on the Pierce gift for song lyrics.)

"Do you know what an upside down "i" is?  An exciting mark.  Like "Mommy is so happy...exciting mark."
  (exclamation point)

"Are we going to do anything?  I'm so boring!" 

"Buddy, you are making me so annoying!" 

And one of our personal favorites....one night Clara had Judy (her bitty baby....very important part of the family) sitting in her chair at the table. Judy has a very specific high pitched baby voice.   And "Judy" just kept talking sassy to Daddy.  So Daddy warned Judy that if she didn't stop being sassy, she was going to get her mommy (Clara) in trouble.  Well, Judy just couldn't restrain herself and she was sassy again.  So, Daddy sent Clara to the stairs for timeout.  Oh the wailing and gnashing of teeth!  Clara was so offended and wounded.  When she finally came back to the table, she was pretty inconsolable.  She cried to her daddy "why you call me Judy instead of this little baby, I'm Clara!!!  It was Judy that was being sassy!"  She was totally serious, big crocodile tears.  Her brother was really helpful, as he was laying on the table laughing until he cried.  Okay....I might have had a couple of laughter tears myself.  Joe stayed the course.  But eventually had to leave the room before he burst! 

Oh how this child makes me smile!!!

Who wasn't there...

I enjoy my kids, they make me laugh!  Not to say they never make me want to pull my hair out...I had a near-hairless moment this week after jean shopping with the big one.  But as a rule...they crack me up.  And the little one, she ranks right up there with Carol Burnett (yes, I realize this dates me).   So, to be fair, I feel I must share some of the most recent Claraisms.  I will warn you, if you need to go to the bathroom you might go now...because some of these might make you wet yourself.  Just sayin!!  (The translation for the bold words will be in parenthesis.) 

 - "Bah gee go.  It's 3 words."  (bald eagle)

 - "Jackie Nimble, Jackie Quick" (Jack be nimble, Jack be quick)

 - "Old little woman who lived in a shoe....that doesn't make any sense!  People need to live in houses or parments." (apartments)

 - "Jesus and God are fun!  Cuz you get to worship them!"

 - "Baba Black sheep can you any wool?  Yes sir, yes sir, three and four."

 - "Little Bo Peep lost her sheep, she couldn't go find them.  ACTUALLY...just leave them alone, that's it."

 - Twice in one day Clara came up to me and she had blue marker all around her mouth and lips.  So I said "your lips and face are blue"....her response, "I didn't do it."  REALLY?  Who keeps doing that to her!?

 - She has a new escape tactic when wrestling with her brother...it's really effective....LICK HIM! 

 - In the car one afternoon she was counting (and she does know how to count quite well), "4, 7, 9, 13, 17".  So I asked "were you wanting to count by odd numbers, like 1, 3, 5, 7, 9?  Or by even numbers, like 2, 4, 6, 8, 10?"  She replied "I'm counting by zeros...it's pretty tricky." 

 - Same day, she gets in the car and tells me that the counselor came to their class and read to them.  So I asked what book she read.  Clara's answer?  "Little Red Hiding Hole".  (Little Red Riding Hood....maybe we should read more classics.)

 - Same day....we go to the dentist and when we are getting out of the car she announces that she can't get her seat belt unbuckled.  Hmmmm!  Unusual!  Well, when you zip your sweater shut around the buckle (after you buckled it), it gets confusing when you try to get out.

 - SAME DAY....this is our conversation (and I swear, I couldn't make this up if I wanted to).
  C (Clara) - Who wasn't there.  (lack of question mark is intentional...it was a statement)
  M (Mommy) - Who wasn't where?
  C - Who wasn't there. 
  M - Who wasn't where?
  C -  Yeah, who wasn't there.
  M - What are we talking about?
  C - Who wasn't there. 
  M - Are we talking about school?
  C - Yes...who wasn't there.
  M - Honey, I wasn't at school, I don't know who wasn't there.
  C - Who wasn't there.
  M - I don't know!  (Frustration implied)  Who wasn't at school today?
  C - Exactly.  Who wasn't there.
  M - Clara, I don't know what you are talking about....who wasn't there?
  C - Who.
  M - Do you want to tell me who wasn't at school?  Because I wasn't there and I don't know who wasn't at school.
  C - Who wasn't at school?
  M - (Light bulb moment)  Are you saying "Hugh" wasn't at school today?
  C -  That's what I said, Who wasn't at school. 

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! 

Latest Claraisms

When we were waiting to adopt Clara we thought of her all the time.  But I have to say, we never in a million years imagined that she would be so hilarious!  The child is funny!  She makes us smile and laugh all the time.  Harrison was a funny kid too.  He had a great sense of timing and once he got you laughing, he'd do just about anything to keep you laughing.  Harrison is the first child in just about every possible way.  He is cerebral, thinks things through, is cautious, yet funny and enjoys trying new things (with caution of course).  Now, having a little leftie, artistic, creative thinker is a whole new game!  After a week together on spring break I think Joe has a whole new appreciation for my skills at deciphering her Claraisms.  Here are just a few of her latest Claraisms.   - Our last night in Florida Joe ran and got us dinner at Ruby Tuesdays.  Clara asked, "where is this food from?"  So I told her, "Daddy got it at Ruby Tuesdays."  So she asks, "do they have art there?"  Looking confused, I ask, "art?  It's a restaurant."  Matter of factly, she says, "I know, do they have art at Ruby Tuesdays?"  So, Joe jumps in here, "Clara, Ruby Tuesdays is a restaurant where I got this food."  Clara, "so, did they have art there?"  Again, I tell her, "Honey, it's a restaurant, they don't have art there."  And she kindly informs me "well, at Freddie's in Edmond sometime they have art."  And that's the end of the conversation (in her mind).  Honestly, by this point Joe is scratching his head and looking at me like "do we need to get her tested?"  Then it hits me....at Freddie's (in Edmond) they do art on Tuesdays....once we went to Freddie's on a Tuesday night and they were doing little art projects.  Get it...Ruby Tuesdays...art at Freddie's on Tuesdays...both have food AND art.  Really, I don't know why I didn't get that on the first go around!   - The other night Clara told me, "I loved dancing with Chick and Dale at Disney World.  I love Chick and Dale...and the other one...I think his name is Pippa."  Really?  Pippa?  And honestly, I don't think there is another one....just "Chick" and Dale.   - Going to the drop off line at school the other day she told me, "if it's a green flag, we are outside.  If it's a red flag, we are inside.  You fink about that...in your mind...if you don't mind."  I don't mind.  I'll fink about it.   - An oldie, but a goodie....last summer we were swimming with some friends, both their little girls are Chinese also.  All of a sudden Clara announces loudly "Hola!  We're Chinese!"  I think one lady in the pool blew water out her nose she was laughing so hard.   - Yesterday in the car Clara told Harrison, "you are making me so frustrating".  Ahhhh, I understand that one!  What a blessing this little bundle of sunshine is!

She cracks me up!!!

I have to admit, my daughter cracks me up!!!  She is just naturally funny, both verbally and physically.  The child enters the room like Kramer.  And she makes the most hilarious faces ever!  It's not unusual for her to attempt to sit on the chair and actually fall between the ottoman and the chair with her feet in the air and announce "I'm okay!"  One day I heard her giggling and I couldn't find her...anywhere.  I finally located her stuck between the wall and a little chest with her feet and her arms in the air...totally stuck...could not move at all.  She was laughing hysterically at herself!  Yesterday I told Joe that we should never have that Home Shopping Network (we don't have cable) because Clara believes all of those ads.  She saw some commercial yesterday for little gadgets to hang pictures on the walls without using nails.  And this was the following conversation:

C:  "We should get those, then we won't have anymore 'damn holes' in the wall."
Me to Joe: "Huh?  It kind of sounded like she said d-a-m-n holes??"
Joe:  "I know, I thought that's what she said too.  Surely not."
Me:  "Clara...what did you say about the holes?"
C:  "I said if we get that we won't have anymore 'damn holes' in the wall." 
Me:  "What kind of holes?"
C:  "Damn holes?"
Me:  "Where did you hear that?"
C:  "On the tv commercial."
Me:  "Well, I missed that on the commercial, but nice girls don't say 'damn'."
C:  "Okay" 

Later last night, Joe was tickling Clara and she asked him to stop.  He didn't stop.  So she told him "you are not being polite."  The other day she came in and told me "Harrison went to Carter's without 'pernissions'."  There just are words that she does not quite get right.  Some need to be corrected, but others we just need to leave alone because they are too cute.  (Needless to say, I do not share this blog with Clara's speech therapist.)  Like for example....if we go to Chik Fila Clara likes to order "shicken numnuts".  And the cute little red-headed boy in her pre-k class will forever be "Matato" not Matteo. 

This is the same child who told my friend Christine (a couple of years ago) "when I was in China I was sad.  Then my mommy came and we snuggled and I was happy."    So I was repeating this story to another friend and I asked Clara "why were you sad in China?"  And she said "cuz they all 'China talk' there!"  Really...she cracks me up!!!