Memories....light the corners of my mind

It's 11:45 on a Saturday night and I'm awake.  I haven't been watching a movie.  I haven't been drinking (which would totally put me to sleep).  What am I doing up?  I'm waiting to go pick up my 15 years and 10months old son....from work.  WHAT?  Tonight, he is washing dishes at a wedding at a small event center a friend of ours owns.  My life just gets weirder every day.

Don't get me wrong...I'm pretty excited that he is working.  I'll admit, I'm tickled that he is washing dishes.  And Joe is equally excited that he is working for someone else.  He's just helping out, filling a need.  But, maybe they will be able to use him occasionally in the future.  I'll be honest, not nearly enough teenagers are working washing dishes these days.  I'm going to go ahead and sound like an old person here. But, I was throwing 81 newspapers (yes, I remember exactly how many) everyday when I was 13.  And my dad did not believe in driving me around in the car helping me.  I was 5'2" and weighed probably 80 pounds.  But I pulled that paper bag on (it hung to my knees) and walked about 6 blocks across town to where my route was located, and I threw papers.  I still remember walking into a little diner to deliver their paper one day and my blue "velvet" coat was totally white with snow and the "Flo-like" waitress offering me a cup of hot cocoa.  I faithfully threw the papers.  But I hated collecting the money.  I mean, I liked having money.  But when I was 13 (and okay, when I'm 50), I absolutely hated talking to people I didn't know.  And I'm a big old chicken.  So, if the people seemed a little creepy, or they had a dog (Chihuahua or Doberman, didn't matter), I just didn't collect.  Some of those people never paid a dime for their newspaper.  But I can still drive by and show you which little house had a little old lady who gave me a stocking cap and matching scarf for Christmas....and the lady in the apartment that gave me chocolate covered cherries.

I digress! Sorry!  Did I mention my boy is washing dishes tonight?  Ahhhhh, memories, light the corners of my mind!  I was a busboy....or girl, technically.  And I washed many dishes from the age of 13-17 in different restaurants I worked in.  And I put myself through nursing school waiting tables.  So, I feel it's a right of passage for my son.  Everyone needs to work in the service industry at some point.  Because then, when you're 50 you can really appreciate it when you don't have to wash dishes anymore.  Or serve people dinner.  Or.....Hey, wait a minute!  I have not evolved at all!  Geez!  I have no idea where I was going with this.  I'm going to go get my boy and go to bed.  This is depressing!

Happily Ever After

On June 1st, my baby got to be a flower girl in a beautiful wedding.  That is a dream come true for most little girls.  Our little flower girl really is a "she lived happily ever after" story, and so is the bride!  About a year ago the beautiful bride, Kelsey, went through a really hard, painful time.  It's her story, so I won't share all that happened.  But she was wounded.  And it was painful to see her have to walk such a hard road.  But God...

God promises in his Word that He will work all things together for good for those who love the Lord.  In the midst of such a painful time, Kelsey ran to the Lord.  And He scooped her up and loved on her.  He did a miracle.  He brought a Godly man into her life, Jeremy.  Jeremy wasn't going to settle for the world's view of dating or marriage.  He wanted to let God guide their relationship.  Jeremy and Kelsey began a sweet courtship.  And on June 1st Kelsey walked down the aisle to her prince charming and became his bride.  This was their first kiss.

What a blessing to get to be a little part of such a precious day.  And what a delight to see the miracle that God has done!!!

Then there's the story of a certain beautiful little flower girl.  Six years ago (almost to the day), Kelsey's mom and dad, Ken and Nita, were in China with a group of people on a mission trip.  They spent a week working in the XinHui orphanage in Jiangmen City.  They loved on kiddos, fed them, cared for them, helped around the orphanage.  Lots of pictures were taken of all the beautiful children at XinHui.  We knew that Ken and Nita had a ministry that helped children in China, but we were really just acquaintances.

On July 29, 2006 we finally received a referral for our Clara.  We sent out e-mails with pictures and her name, announcing her referral.  That night I got an e-mail from Ken asking what city and orphanage she was in.  I e-mailed him the information.  The next morning my phone rang and a tearful Nita said "Joy, this is Nita and I've held your baby girl."  That was the end of being acquaintances and the beginning of a new branch on our family tree.  It could only have been God that would allow one of the children from XinHui to come to our town, where Ken and Nita also live, to a family they "happened" to know.  Ken and Nita became Papa and Nini.  And the rest is history.  Actually....HIS story!

So, on June 1st, Clara walked down the aisle as a flower girl in Kelsey's wedding.  And six years ago, she met her Nini and Papa in an orphanage in China.  At the wedding reception Clara danced with her daddy and her brother.  And she danced with Papa and the KKs (Kelsey and Kendra).  It was a little surreal, to look at the HUGE miracles God did to bring Clara and Kelsey to this place at this time.  Thanks God!  They lived happily ever after!

                                                   Clara and her Nini

                                                 Clara and her Kendra

                                             Clara and her Papa

                                       They lived happily ever after!

                                                        Pre-wedding primping!

                                                        Really, isn't she cute?!

                         Seriously, I had on 4-inch heels!  Where did my baby boy go?

                                                       Dancing the night away!

                                           We are so happy for Kelsey & Jeremy!

What's on your bedside table?

Do you think your beside table tells any secrets about you?  Hmmmm!  Not sure.  Mine breaks the news that it is everyone's least favorite place to have to dust.  Well, that and my desk.  I'll admit, it is not decorating at it's finest.  It could possibly reveal that I'm a dork.  And a creature of habit.  A little sentimental. Aging.  And a lot more laid back about housekeeping than I used to be.

So...let's see what we have here.

First....the big eye sore, the blue thermal cup.  Since I was a little girl I've always had a big cup of water on my bedside table. I admittedly drink at least half of it most nights.  I'm a person who likes a little drink with my ice.  So, a thermal cup is in order.  And, yes, I realize it is ugly and old.  But none of the cute new ones let me wake up to a cup that still has ice in it.  There you have it.

The clock...a necessary evil. The most important aspect of the clock?  The snooze button.  I am one of those people who set the alarm early enough so that I can hit the snooze at least two times....three to four times is FABULOUS!!  Joe is the guy who wakes before the alarm or hears it and gets right out of bed.  Not me.  Those nine minutes of snooze time are the best sleep EVER!  I mean, good, hard, deep sleep!  Me loves me snooze button.

A picture of my kiddos.  It's an old one of them on Christmas Eve many years ago.  It is sweet and tender and melts my heart.  It's back when Harrison was still really enamored with having a little sister and before she could talk very well.  Hee! Hee!

Then there's that lovely yellow water can with fake flowers.  I admit, I hate fake flowers.  But my little one brought that home from church one night.  And a couple of days later I found it on my bedside table.  I gave it back to her.  She kept putting it back on my table.  She told me she just wanted me to have some beautiful flowers to look at.  They made her think of me.  Ahhhhhh!  Seriously, they might be there forever.

On top of  a stack of books is a little picture with the words “What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, For all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”  - Helen Keller  My friend Kela gave me that picture after my mom died.  It meant a lot to me then.  It means a lot to me now.  


Here comes the dork part.  I have two book journals.   One is a journal that I keep of all the books I read.  I rate them all on a scale of 0-5.  I write a review.  It is going to be worth millions some day.  (You know I'm joking, right?)  The other journal I keep for my book club.  


The "aging" part are the glasses.  I can't read without them.  I mean, I know how to read without them. But the print would have to be so big the weight of all the books would probably send the bedside table crashing to the ground.  And because I used to tease my grandma about having "driving glasses, piano glasses, sewing glasses, and reading glasses" I now have "reading glasses, computer glasses, and a pair just for menus".  Geez!  It sucks getting old.  


The rest are books.  Well...in case the books aren't enough, there is a Nook in the mix somewhere too.  The closest stack is always what I'm reading or in the queue to read.  For instance, in this picture there is "What Alice Forgot", our book club book for last month.  There is also "Clara and Mr. Tiffany", which I finished last night.  And Tim Tebow's biography, which I started last week.  There are a couple more that are in the lineup.  And I need to download "Smarty Pants" to the Nook for this month's book club.  Then, at the back of the table is the "reference section".  It has books about raising your boy, raging the rapids with teenagers, marriage, a Bible study, and a couple of non-fiction books about China's hutongs being torn down for the Beijing Olympics.  


I'm going to go ahead and admit that there is a huge wedge pillow next to the table that I use to sit up and read in bed.  I think I see where this is going.  My table says I like to read.  It is my favorite little space of time at the end of the day.  The Nook is nice, but I love to hold my book in my hands.  I love to thumb through a book.  I like to read all the acknowledgements and post scripts.  I like to dog ear the pages, especially if I want to remember something on that page.  I'm not afraid to mark in a book, as long as I own it.  However, I got carried away and started marking in my friend Jenny's book.  That reminds me, I need to replace that for her.  


So....just curious....what's on your bedside table?

Birth Mother's Day

I read somewhere that today is "Birth Mother's Day".  And I have to admit, it is a time where I think a lot about my daughter's birth mother and mine too.  I'm so grateful that these women chose life.  And I'm grateful that they thought beyond themselves.

Fifty years into this adoption thing, I have found that adoption is just a part of my story, it does not define me.  It's where my story began.  And 44 years later, it is where my daughter's story began.  As she grows we find ourselves saying more and more "you're your father's child" or "you're your mother's child", just like we have with Harrison.  Because, even though her eyes are brown and mine are blue, we do resemble each other a bit.  We both have a bit of a creative side to us and sometimes we just don't notice all the details.  Other times we are very intent on whatever it is we are working on.  And to be honest, we both love a good "pajama day".

In a few weeks, Clara is going to be in a wedding.  The morning after she tried on her flower girl dress I found a little list she had written herself...
    "dres
     shoos
     flowors
     har
     bun"
She had made herself a list of things to remember for the wedding!  Dress, shoes, flowers, hair, bun.  The girl loves to have her hair in a bun.  I laughed so hard!  She is her father's child!!!  (Because of the list, not the bun.)  And when I go out and look at my vegetables growing in my garden, I have to think "I'm my father's child" too. I realize that somewhere out there is a woman, who I am told I look just like.  She is a gift.  She gave me the gift of life.  And the gift of a life she felt would be better than what she had to offer at that time.  And I grew up very loved and very much my parents' child.

Somewhere in China is a woman I love but will probably never know.  I often wonder what her circumstances were.  She kept Clara for about two months.  It's hard to picture the day that she laid her in the bushes outside that hospital, hoping she would quickly be found.  Did she hide across the street by the school and watch until someone picked Clara up and called the police?  Or did she feel she had to flee for fear of being caught?  Did she cry for days?  Or did she have to hide her pain from those around her?  Does she look at little faces in China wondering if one of them is her daughter?  Does she have peace, knowing deep in her heart that she is loved and cared for?  Does she still weep?  Can she speak of her pain?  Does she have a joyful life?  I look in my beautiful girl's face and wonder so many things.  But mostly, I praise God for the miracle of adoption.  And I pray that her birth mother hears about Jesus and finds peace in Him.  And I ask God to never let me forget the sacrifice made by that woman so far away.

Easter 2012

                                               So proud of her colorful eggs!

                                                             I love them!

                                            Growing up WAY too fast!

                                            Easter basket goodies this year.

                                                      Ready for the hunt!

                                         Pretty azaleas....beautiful girl!

                                     Let the annual hunt begin at MawMaw's house!

                                       And she's off!  Eggs everywhere!

                                                Christine and Clara...two of my favorites!

                                                  Clara and her Bobby!

                              The neighborhood littles checking out their goods!

                                         Clara and Evvy enjoying their baskets together.

                                        I love our street.....best neighbors ever!

                                         Fun was had by all....even the bigs!

I love Easter!  It was 30 years ago this year that I gave my heart to the Lord at Easter.  A big old basketball player from OSU led me to the Lord.  So, this is always a special time for me to reflect on all the God has blessed me with.

Over the last many months I have done a study on James, heard a detailed study on I Peter at church, read the books Radical, Kisses From Katie, and "7".  All of these books are challenging me.  Mostly I'm challenged to become less and less about the things of this world and more and more about eternal things.  I find myself thinking about how much "stuff" I have, what I could do to change the world for God if I gave up a lot of my stuff.  I guess I'm just really feeling convicted about stewardship.  Not just money, but stewardship of my time, my gifts, my love and everything else that God has entrusted me with.

So, I decided that a basket full of candy, movies, i-tunes cards, or whatever just wasn't really what I wanted to make of Easter with my kids.  How could we still enjoy their childhood AND draw them to Christ? So their baskets looked a little different this year.  Joe went on a mission trip to Ecuador earlier this year.  So, we gave each of the kids a small nativity scene that was made in Ecuador.  It's not just for Easter, but can stay out in their rooms all year long to remind them daily of God's ultimate gift to us.  Jesus gave his life for us.  So, giving a bunch of junk on Easter just seemed silly.  We opted to pay for a little boy's education for the year in Ecuador.  I know that sounds kind of honorable, doesn't it.  Not really!  You see, this cute little guy, Stephen, wouldn't get to attend school at all because the cost for him to have uniforms, books and tuition for the year was $80.  Yes folks, $80...not $800....not $8000.  So with $80....which is less than we spend on eating out in a two week period....we are sending Stephen to school this year.  I was so glad to think of a tangible way to do something to honor God for Easter.  Then, before I pulled another muscle patting myself on the back, I realized that Harrison is 15.  Yep...15!  So, we've had 15 Easters with candy and meaningless gifts.  I'm embarrassed that 30 years ago I asked Jesus into my heart and was changed forever.  And just now, I thought about maybe doing something to honor him at Easter.

Don't get me wrong.  We always go to church on Easter.  We gather with other believers and celebrate.  And...we hunt eggs.  And....we eat...a lot!  And before we have even gotten hungry again, we eat some more.  Really....30 years!  No wonder God keeps putting lessons in front of me to "mess me up"!

Our Easter day was full of blessings.  We gathered at the Merideth homestead for Easter lunch.  This family has embraced us like we are a part of their family for many years now.  Since we don't have any family here, they will never know how much that means to us.  Then in the evening, we celebrated Easter with our neighbors.  We all pitched in and had a feast in a couple of the front yards while the kids hunted eggs (yep....that makes 3 times that day.  Nope....I have not arrived!).  I looked around while I was sitting in my lawn chair eating again and thought "this is what God's church looks like!"  You see, on our street we have five adopted kiddos.  We have a family from India who are believers.  We had every skin color on the palette represented.  We had several students from Rwanda with us.  I took some snapshots on the camera this time.  But I filled my memory with snapshots of our neighbors visiting and enjoying each other, getting to know new friends from Rwanda, watching the littles hunt eggs, and the bigs play games up and down the street.

I love Easter!

Snapshots

Although I can't seem to remember my address somedays, I seem to have a photographic memory on other things.  I feel like I'm looking at life through a camera lens sometimes, and taking snapshots in my mind.  And the older I get, the more I slow down and savor those little snapshots.  The last few weeks I've had a few stand out that I've enjoyed closing my eyes and replaying over and over again.  Like a few weeks ago when we went to dinner with my dad and Jean up in Tulsa one evening.  Dad has always been great with kids and has really embraced and loves our kids.  I got a little misty when I looked up and saw Dad and Clara holding hands and skipping down the sidewalk together.  I'm not sure whose smile was bigger. 

Then a couple of weeks ago the big kid went on a mission trip.  He has done this before.  But this time he went all the way to Nashville and was gone for a week.  Standing in our driveway at the crack of dawn (literally) before I took Harrison to the church, I snapped another picture in my memory.  Joe, Harrison (my big old hairy-legged boy) and myself, huddled together praying with the sun rising behind us.  Made my heart skip a beat.  So blessed to have a husband who prays.  Humbled to get to parent this boy that I love more than I can express.  And amazed that my baby is six feet tall and going off to serve the homeless and others in the inner city for a week. 

Harrison got home from the mission trip at 2:30 in the morning.  So Clara was anxiously waiting for him to wake up late the next morning.  When he did, she was ready to be the first one to give him some love.  I looked over and my very tired boy was holding his little sister, snuggled close, and she was purring....literally.  Snap!  Makes my heart happy! 

And earlier this week, I sat in the stands watching a track meet.  Still a bit amazed at the runner this boy of ours has become.  But even more amazed at the things he is learning through this whole running thing.  He has a teammate that is a very talented runner too.  In cross country there was a little bit of tension at the beginning of the year.  Everyone trying to find their place, making their way as freshmen.  My boy is as competetive as they come, he loves to win.  But he also loves to be a part of a team.  This little rivalry could have gone a couple of ways.  But I just had to smile and snap a picture in my mind at the track meet.  These two guys, running the 2-mile race together.  Running at the front of the pack, setting the pace, working together as a team.  Smiling and enjoying the race and the friendship they have formed.  Finishing first and second.  And when it was over, my boy telling me "that was the most fun race ever!"  He and his friend work together, they encourage each other, they challenge each other and sometimes, they even trade off who wins the race.  I forgot my camera that day, but I've got that snapshot saved!

Time for some Claraisms

My girl is funny!  Okay...hysterical!  And she still just says the cutest things.  So, it's time for some of the latest Claraisms.  Enjoy!

"Daddy, we went to Sonic and I had teeter totters."  (tater tots)

"Wanna play a game of wool?"  (war)

"Beniz naughty ducks..."  (Feliz Navidad)

Clara calls her big brother "Buddy"......
   "Buddy loves syrup.  Not Buddy our son." 

She is learning to read, so I bought a classic collection of  "Dick and Jane" books....but she calls them
  "Chick and Jane" or occasionally "Nook and Jane". 

She told Buddy one day "you are giving me a hiccup."

"If you spell dog backwards it spells Jesus."

Clara loves to eat "Chicken Slow Made" (chicken lo mein)

"Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Kai Lan laid an egg."  (She carries on the Pierce gift for song lyrics.)

"Do you know what an upside down "i" is?  An exciting mark.  Like "Mommy is so happy...exciting mark."
  (exclamation point)

"Are we going to do anything?  I'm so boring!" 

"Buddy, you are making me so annoying!" 

And one of our personal favorites....one night Clara had Judy (her bitty baby....very important part of the family) sitting in her chair at the table. Judy has a very specific high pitched baby voice.   And "Judy" just kept talking sassy to Daddy.  So Daddy warned Judy that if she didn't stop being sassy, she was going to get her mommy (Clara) in trouble.  Well, Judy just couldn't restrain herself and she was sassy again.  So, Daddy sent Clara to the stairs for timeout.  Oh the wailing and gnashing of teeth!  Clara was so offended and wounded.  When she finally came back to the table, she was pretty inconsolable.  She cried to her daddy "why you call me Judy instead of this little baby, I'm Clara!!!  It was Judy that was being sassy!"  She was totally serious, big crocodile tears.  Her brother was really helpful, as he was laying on the table laughing until he cried.  Okay....I might have had a couple of laughter tears myself.  Joe stayed the course.  But eventually had to leave the room before he burst! 

Oh how this child makes me smile!!!