Seasons come and seasons go...

As a rule, I love the change of seasons.  Fall is my favorite, all the leaves changing colors.  Of course, spring is a close second, with everything blooming and starting fresh.  And even with my kids, I have enjoyed the seasons they were in, but had fun embracing new seasons.  But I'm sad to see a couple of seasons end. 

You see...my boy isn't playing basketball for the first time since he was four years old.  We went and watched the 9th graders play their first home game the other night.  I'll admit I got a little teary-eyed watching and knowing my big old boy wouldn't be on the court.  It was his choice.  He opted to not go out for the team this year.  Several factors played into that decision.  But, it made me sad.  I loved, loved, loved watching him play basketball!  And it was my sport too.  I wasn't a rock star player, but it was the game I loved.  And I always regretted stopping after 9th grade, not trying a new coach in high school.  More than anything, Harrison loves basketball.  He has played....and played...and played since he was big enough to have a Little Tykes goal in the garage.  When we moved in here and we met new neighbors they would always say "oh you live in the house with the blond-headed kid who is playing basketball 24/7!" 

That darn kid just keeps growing up and making choices on his own.  And he does mature stuff like telling me "Mom, my best shot of getting any kind of athletic scholarship money is for running, not for basketball.  So, I should focus on running.  AND academics of course!"  : )  And the kid can run, he's got some wheels.  And it turns out....the cross country coaches and track coaches have been amazing.  Not to mention the quality kids that he is running with.  So, once again, I entered a new season...one that involves running and lots of it.  Luckily, I can watch him run and never actually have to break a sweat myself.  But I still (sniffle, sniffle) hate saying good-bye to basketball.  Guess I'll have to get Clara signed up next year! 

And the other season ending?  Okay, I know it sounds stupid.  But...I really hate that Clara has moved out of the little girls clothing section.  I know shopping is not a sport.  And clothing your child isn't really a season of life.  BUT...I loved the little girl section at Target...and Gap...and Old Navy.  And moving up to the bigger girls section takes away a lot of the innocence.  Honestly, there a lot of hoochie clothes in the girls section!  My baby is 6, she does not need lace up and down the side of her leggings like a rock star.  She doesn't need suggestive slogans on her t-shirts.  She does not need to be wearing "camis" because all the shirts are low cut or see through.  Why oh why can't they make the little girl section go up to size 8, instead of size 5?  Seriously, they are little girls.  They have their whole lives to grow up (and hopefully not dress like hoochies).  I'm just sayin....it makes me sad! 

Thanksgiving 2011

Thanksgiving....oh how I love thee....let me count the ways!  I really do love Thanksgiving!  It is my favorite holiday to cook for.  And something about it just makes me smile.  I love the food, the fellowship, the family being home...even the football (to an extent).  As I was cooking the two days before Thanksgiving I was thinking about why I enjoy this holiday so much.  And I realized that some of it is just totally sentimental.  I started planning out my menu and here's what I saw...

Turkey - which I learned how to cook all by myself for my family many years ago...and they love it!
Green Bean Casserole - never had a Thanksgiving without it...or a church potluck dinner for that matter. 
Mashed Potatoes - one of the few things I would eat at Thanksgiving when I was a kid....now I make the Pioneer Woman's version and my family loves them too, even the big kid who wouldn't touch them before.
Nana's Dressing - My bestie Christi's grandma's recipe.  Makes me think of Christi each time I make it, and usually involves a call or text to my friend. 
Broccoli Salad - A favorite that I got from a friend, Lynn, who lived here for a few years and was a wonderful  cook.  Always makes me think of fun times with their family.
Apple Pie - My favorite recipe that I got from Lori, a girl I worked with at GMAC when I was 20 years old.  Still a family favorite (and definitely my favorite).  Reminds me of those first few years out on my own. 
Pumpkin Pie - Always makes me think of Joe's mom Louise, since she loved to bake pies.  This year I tried a new recipe from a new friend at church.
Key Lime Pie - Harrison's favorite.  And Grandma Jean's recipe, which makes me think of her and my dad everytime I make it. 
Fresh Cranberry Sauce - A recipe I got from a Martha Stewart magazine way back when I used to read magazines.   And this year, Clara helped me make it....very fun!

I love that the whole menu pretty much comes from shared experiences with special friends and family.  That's the best way to build your recipe box! 

Another thing I love about Thanksgiving is just the time at the table together with whoever we share the meal with.  We almost always have some international students with us.  This year we had three young men from China here for Thanksgiving dinner.  It was fun to talk about China and compare places we have been.  They are all students in Guangzhou (except for this year while they are at UCO) which is where we spent most of our time in China.  Over the years we have had lots of Japanese students, a few Chinese, one from Taiwan, and one from Sri Lanka.  I'll never forget Apsara, the girl from Sri Lanka.  She was our waitress at Steak and Shake one Sunday.  We struck up a conversation and found out where she was from.  That week she was on my heart.  And on Sunday I begged to go back to Steak and Shake and see if we could see her again.  So, we sat in her section and ended up inviting her to Thanksgiving.  I'll never forget, she told us she had been in Oklahoma for 4 years and had never been in an American's home.  That broke my heart!  Not long after we met Apsara the Tsunami hit her country.  Because we had a connection with Apsara it really made us more tuned in and prayerful for the people of Sri Lanka when that tragedy struck.  Lord, help us to be mindful of the mission field we have right here in our backyard! 

                                    Daniel and Lee Cho enjoying Thanksgiving dinner.

                                                  Fall fun, jumping in the leaves!

                            Clara with her friends Stone & Amaiya, having some fall fun!

                                                   Our happy girl!

                                     Joe, Clara and Leo after a big Thanksgiving feast!

                                              Fancy Nancy at the Storybook Parade

                               Ahhhh....Kindergarten.....you gotta love 'em! 

Who wasn't there...

I enjoy my kids, they make me laugh!  Not to say they never make me want to pull my hair out...I had a near-hairless moment this week after jean shopping with the big one.  But as a rule...they crack me up.  And the little one, she ranks right up there with Carol Burnett (yes, I realize this dates me).   So, to be fair, I feel I must share some of the most recent Claraisms.  I will warn you, if you need to go to the bathroom you might go now...because some of these might make you wet yourself.  Just sayin!!  (The translation for the bold words will be in parenthesis.) 

 - "Bah gee go.  It's 3 words."  (bald eagle)

 - "Jackie Nimble, Jackie Quick" (Jack be nimble, Jack be quick)

 - "Old little woman who lived in a shoe....that doesn't make any sense!  People need to live in houses or parments." (apartments)

 - "Jesus and God are fun!  Cuz you get to worship them!"

 - "Baba Black sheep can you any wool?  Yes sir, yes sir, three and four."

 - "Little Bo Peep lost her sheep, she couldn't go find them.  ACTUALLY...just leave them alone, that's it."

 - Twice in one day Clara came up to me and she had blue marker all around her mouth and lips.  So I said "your lips and face are blue"....her response, "I didn't do it."  REALLY?  Who keeps doing that to her!?

 - She has a new escape tactic when wrestling with her brother...it's really effective....LICK HIM! 

 - In the car one afternoon she was counting (and she does know how to count quite well), "4, 7, 9, 13, 17".  So I asked "were you wanting to count by odd numbers, like 1, 3, 5, 7, 9?  Or by even numbers, like 2, 4, 6, 8, 10?"  She replied "I'm counting by zeros...it's pretty tricky." 

 - Same day, she gets in the car and tells me that the counselor came to their class and read to them.  So I asked what book she read.  Clara's answer?  "Little Red Hiding Hole".  (Little Red Riding Hood....maybe we should read more classics.)

 - Same day....we go to the dentist and when we are getting out of the car she announces that she can't get her seat belt unbuckled.  Hmmmm!  Unusual!  Well, when you zip your sweater shut around the buckle (after you buckled it), it gets confusing when you try to get out.

 - SAME DAY....this is our conversation (and I swear, I couldn't make this up if I wanted to).
  C (Clara) - Who wasn't there.  (lack of question mark is intentional...it was a statement)
  M (Mommy) - Who wasn't where?
  C - Who wasn't there. 
  M - Who wasn't where?
  C -  Yeah, who wasn't there.
  M - What are we talking about?
  C - Who wasn't there. 
  M - Are we talking about school?
  C - Yes...who wasn't there.
  M - Honey, I wasn't at school, I don't know who wasn't there.
  C - Who wasn't there.
  M - I don't know!  (Frustration implied)  Who wasn't at school today?
  C - Exactly.  Who wasn't there.
  M - Clara, I don't know what you are talking about....who wasn't there?
  C - Who.
  M - Do you want to tell me who wasn't at school?  Because I wasn't there and I don't know who wasn't at school.
  C - Who wasn't at school?
  M - (Light bulb moment)  Are you saying "Hugh" wasn't at school today?
  C -  That's what I said, Who wasn't at school. 

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! 

Creepy!

Things that creep me out...

 - Mice.  EWWWW!!!  Even if you put them in a cage and call them a gerbil...still creepy!

 - Albino crickets. 

 - Worm graveyards.  You know what I mean.  Big rain.  It stops.  You go outside and there is a worm graveyard all over the cement.  

 - Food with the head left on it. 

 - Food with head parts.  For instance, when I opened a pot on the stove when I was a little girl and there was a giant (to me...but probably normal sized) cow tongue cooking.  My dad denies it, but I can still see it in my mind today.

 - Food that involves feet.  No, I do not want any chicken feet thank you!

 - And while we're at it....no food with animal private parts.  Enough said! 

 - Fingernail or toenail injuries.  Made me shutter thinking of it.  Cut your head off, have a heart attack, have a bug in your ear....I'm good.  But please don't have a nail injury. 

 - When people talk with a bubble in their throat.  Clear your throat already! 

 -  A server who licks the milk shake off the side of your cup before she hands it to you!  Happened to my husband once. 

 - When someone talks to you and obviously "knows you well" and you have absolutely no idea who they are. 

 - I think the previous statement may be related to my age.  So, I guess turning 50 kind of creeps me out. 

Just sayin...

50??? How did that happen???

A couple weeks ago I turned 50.  I thought I'd sit down and blog about it as soon as it happened.  But I forgot.  You will see that as a theme from now on I'm afraid!  Actually, it was pretty painless.  And in some ways, it was pretty delightful.  For example, a few days before I turned 50 several of my very dearest friends celebrated with me at a local tea room.  It was so fun to look around the table and think about how each of these friends became so dear to me.  Mandi, I met when she was 3 and I was helping teach her Sunday school class.  Her mom Susan, I met a few years later in a small group at church.  She was actually in the room with us when Harrison was born...and several years later Harrison was in Mandi's wedding.  Kela, JJ, and Kari I met when our kids were all in Sonshine School together.  Kristin and I became good friend when we were pregnant with our teenagers and we have shared many milestones together.  Merlene and I met when we were homeroom moms together in 1st grade (for the now teenagers).  Christine, Jenni and Robin I all met through Harrison's friendships with their kiddos.  And Jill is my sweet neighbor.  Most of us have laughed together, cried together, shared parenting advice, and so much more.  When my mom died three years ago, Christine was with us.  Within a couple of hours Jill had lunch at our house and Merlene had brought dinner.  And when I walked out at my mom's funeral, there sat several of these friends who had driven 150 miles to support me.  I am blessed!!!

Then, Tuesday night, Joe walked in the house....followed by my sweet friend Christi who had flown in from San Antonio to surprise me!  What a wonderful surprise!  Sometimes you just need some girl time with one of your besties!  Some yummy food, a couple of glasses of wine, and a little shopping....perfect time with my friend.  What a blessing to have Christi fly up for 24 hours just to make my day special.  I have the best friends!!!

And then, dinner with my family at my favorite Japanese hibachi restaurant.  Sometimes I look at my little family and I'm amazed at what God has done in my life! 

Now, I have to say, that 50 brings several kind of realizations.  There are the usual things like wrinkles, sagging, aches and pains.  But I had to kind of giggle at some of the other things.  Here are a few things I've picked up on lately...

 - When you are 50 and you have a kindergartener, you are just fine with watching the younger, first time moms sign up for everything. 
 - At 50....it is not a good idea to keep your foot cream and hair pomade in the same location....you might get them confused one day....just sayin! 
 - When you are 50 you get a lot more "well bless your heart" comments.  Like the girl at bootcamp who was whining about how she was too old for all this (I might add she weighs like 90 pounds).  I asked how old she was, she said 38.  I told her I'm 50.  She said "well, I have 3 kids"...(hear the WAAAAHHH! in my voice)...well, I have a kindergartener.  Wait for it...."Oh, bless you heart!  I thought I was old when I had my last one!"  I just smiled.  Or the lady at the Clinique counter who complimented my haircut and asked if I had always worn it short.  I told her that I had let it grow, thinking I'd leave it long until I turned 50 but actually cut it a few months early.  She said "You're 50?  Do you have kids?"  I give her the low down....a 15 year old and a 6 year old.  Wait for it...."Oh!  Bless your heart!  That must be what keeps you so young." 
 - My "max weight limit" changes everytime I hit a milestone birthday.  It's very liberating!  : )
 - One day I put on a new necklace and think to myself "before I wear this again I need to change the charms around so it clasps the other way" (it was set up for a leftie).  Then the next day I put the necklace on I think "before I wear this again I need to change the charms around so it clasps the other way".  A couple days later I put the necklace on and I think "before I wear this again I need to change the charms around so it clasps the other way."  Geez!
 - You dress your child cute for picture day at school.  And it never even crosses your mind to fill out the form and send a check....kind of like you've never done this before. 
 - Last weekend I was texting a friend in Nebraska during the Nebraska game.  She mentioned something about a missed extra point because she knows the kicker.  I was thinking to myself, "how did I miss that...I thought I was paying attention."  So I don't say anything.  Then about 15 minutes later I realize we had DVR'd the game and started it about 45 minutes late so we were not even seeing the same plays while we were texting.  DERRR!

                        In honor of my 50th birthday, I'll post a few pictures from my younger days. 
                                   This is my brother Kim and I at my grandparents farm back in 1964

               My favorite picture with my brother (the church in the back ground was where my dad was pastor).

                              Ahhhh!  The 70's!  I was probably 13 or 14 here.  We were big stuff!!!

At 50, I'd have to say you might as well have a sense of humor about yourself.  And the best part is, if you do something embarrassing, there's a good chance you won't even remember tomorrow!  Life is good!!!

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today my sweet dad turns 77! I was laying in bed this morning thinking about some of my favorite memories with my dad, so I just had to write a few down.  Happy Birthday Dad!

 - I remember wrestling with you and Kim in our old brick parsonage in Nevada, Iowa.  Somehow I always ended up in tears.  I was kind of a girlie girl.
 - And I can see the day you taught me to ride a bike, like it was yesterday.  It was a cloudy, dreary day and we literally worked on it all day.  I remember sitting in the big free-standing tub that night counting the bruises on my legs...so proud I could finally ride a bike with no training wheels.
 - And a snowy, Iowa day when you took us sledding.  I told you I didn't know how to steer that sled by myself  (I was like 5). You didn't believe me...until  I ran into the fence at the tennis courts and got a nice big cut on my head...stitches followed. 
 - The VW bugs.  Oh, how you loved those cars.  For many years that was our only car.  I remember the long drives to Nebraska with Mom tying her scarf to the little handle on the glove box. 
 - And when you would take the back seat out of the VW and fill it with blankets.  We'd drive to Nebraska, pack up a side of frozen beef, put the blankets on top, and I'd ride on top of the beef all the way home from Nebraska.  Funny, that didn't seem weird at the time. 
 - On one of those long trips I remember playing with an Avon lipstick sample in the back seat.  Except, I used it as blush.  You looked at me and pulled the car over because you thought I'd come down with some horrible fever or sickness because my face was so red.  You were not happy to find out I'd been playing makeup! 
 - Oh, let's not forget the little electrocution incident.  When I was unplugging the old skillet and it had a loose wire and I couldn't let go, getting electrocuted with burns on my neck and arm.  You stayed with me all night in the hospital, sitting up in the chair next to me.  Well, occasionally you crawled in bed with me and curled up to sleep.  I knew you'd never leave me.
 - And I can't think of my childhood without thinking of all the gardens you planted.  I remember when you had your accident when I was in high school and you couldn't work in your garden.  So, we sat you in a chair in the yard and you directed us (Mom, me, Grandma and Grandpa M), telling us how deep to dig, how far apart to put the seeds, etc. 
 - I remember watching you pitch in softball games up in North Platte.  You were pretty good too, I might add! 
 - Nothing, oh nothing, made you light up like going to the farm for a week.  You loved going out with Grandpa Z and doing chores, working in the fields, helping milk the cows.  I loved seeing you on the farm, you always were so at peace there. 
 - I can remember when I was a cheerleader in NP, or playing basketball and I would look up and see you in the stands.  Sometimes I didn't know you were coming, but you'd sneak in and watch as much as possible before you had to get back to work.  You never made a big thing of it.  But it made me feel good to know that you were thinking of me and wanted to be a part of what I was doing. 
 - And when you drove the yellow Peugeot (with a blue hood) and it had a sticker on the window that said "trespassers will be violated"....Kim and I asked you to drop us off a couple of blocks from school and we'd walk the rest of the way. 
 - I remember sitting in your office at the church in Kingfisher with you teaching the little class for us kids who were going to be baptized.  I think of you everytime I hear words like "omnisicent or omnipresent" because you taught me those things about God in that class.  Weird what we remember, huh? 
 - You were a recycler ahead of your times.  I remember when you collected a huge hay truck full of newspapers with the kids in Kingfisher.  Years later, you rode an old woman's bike around town with a huge basket on the handlebars and collected aluminum cans.  Usually you wore your "homeless man coat" and the ridiculous blue and gold fake fur hat.
 - More than one time while I was in college I had car trouble.  You would have worked all night at the post office, then you'd drive down, give me your car for the day and take mine to get it fixed.  You'd sleep a couple of hours and turn around and go back to work. 
 - I remember the look you gave me right before you walked me down the aisle at my wedding. 
 - And the first time you held Harrison.  You were head over heels for him.
 - And when we got back from China and you and Jean drove down to meet Clara.  Playing on a blanket in our front yard, watching you falling in love with her, just like you did Harrison.
 - Watching you playing ball with Harrison, or digging in the garden with Clara....it makes me smile.   
 - I remember things you didn't do too.  Like...you didn't make a big deal about me being adopted.  It was just the most natural thing in the world.  And that's probably why adoption just seemed like a natural course for my own family. 
 - I love being your daughter! 

Three years ago...

Three years ago yesterday morning our phone rang, very early.  A nurse told me that my mom was in full arrest.  I remember yelling at Joe "she's in full arrest....let's go".  Harrison, sensing something was wrong, had come downstairs.  He quickly put on some clothes and got his sister out of bed and dressed her too.  I called my friend Christine "please pray, she's in full arrest".  We drove like bats out of hell and arrived at the facility where she was getting rehab.  But when we got there, she was gone.  They had done everything they could do.  She had a massive MI and pretty much was gone instantly.  Within moments Christine was there too.  We all huddled in the chapel, crying and consoling each other.  Joe, who had been such a blessing to my mom, cried with me.  Harrison was very upset, he was pretty close to Grandma Z.  And Clara, who had just turned 3, wasn't quite sure what was going on.  It was a day that looked like death...cloudy, rainy, dreary, cold.  Eventually, Joe and I went in to see Mom, say good-bye.  I can see that dimly lit room so well.  She looked peaceful.

Then, I had to call my brother.  I knew he would be alone.  I hated that.  But, it's who he is and it's how he handles things best.  Then I called Mom's sister and a couple of other people.  It began a weird day of letting people know that my mom had died.  I don't really like to talk about things that much, and I'm very uncomfortable showing my emotions.  Joe was a great help.  Christine took the kids to her house.  My neighbor Jill showed up with lunch in a matter of no time.  And Joe and I began the process of figuring out how to walk through this together. 

But I have to say, before that day was over, I was so aware of how merciful God was to us.  Due to some health problems and the potential for Mom needing more care, we had moved her down here the first of May.  We had her all set up in her new little place. And we were enjoying getting to see her almost everyday.  The kids were enjoying having a grandma in town.  And Mom got to know Clara in a way that she wouldn't have without those last few months here.  About two weeks before Mom passed away (she was in a skilled bed after a back injruy), my brother came down for the day.  After visiting with Mom a lot, he came over to our house and we talked.  We both knew that things weren't going to be the same for Mom without some huge miracle.  My big brother and I knew she wasn't well.  And we had to utter the words, "if she doesn't improve, she will have to go to full-time care and I don't want to have to do that."  Again...God's mercies fell.  He saved Kim and I from having to make that choice for Mom.  He didn't have to do that for us.  Lots of people have had to put their parents in nursing homes.  They have struggled with guilt, sorrow, pain of seeing your parents go through that.  But God spared us that.  When we got the call that Mom was in full arrest, I knew that I could potentially have to decide whether to put her on a ventilator to prolong her life.  But God spared me that too.  He took her quickly.  That is such a blessing!   God walked with us each step of the way. 

I am blessed with wonderful friends.  Mom's funeral was about 150 miles from here.  But when I walked out to be seated for the funeral, there were four of my friends who had driven the 150 miles that morning.  If you haven't walked this road of loss yet, you probably don't realize just how much that means.  But seeing my friends, brought tears to my eyes and a comfort to my heart.  Saying goodbye to a parent, it's not easy.  I admit I'm a pretty practical person, I can reason things out pretty well.  But when they closed the casket and they were going to bury my mom, I had a little sense of panic.  I've never really had a panic attack, but I had that feeling.  Unreasonable thoughts "wait....are we sure she's really gone".  There's something about knowing you won't physically touch them or see them on this earth again is so overwhelming. 

A couple of weeks later, I was working in Mom's house.  I had boxed up somethings for me and my brother to keep.  I had a box full of files and papers too.  And I kind of said outloud "I'm sure my mom is saying 'that's it? my whole life in a couple of boxes?'"  And as quick as I said that outloud, God spoke to my heart, as clear as could be, "your mom would have worried about those things on earth, but she will never worry about those things again here."  God's mercy!