What's on your bedside table?

Do you think your beside table tells any secrets about you?  Hmmmm!  Not sure.  Mine breaks the news that it is everyone's least favorite place to have to dust.  Well, that and my desk.  I'll admit, it is not decorating at it's finest.  It could possibly reveal that I'm a dork.  And a creature of habit.  A little sentimental. Aging.  And a lot more laid back about housekeeping than I used to be.

So...let's see what we have here.

First....the big eye sore, the blue thermal cup.  Since I was a little girl I've always had a big cup of water on my bedside table. I admittedly drink at least half of it most nights.  I'm a person who likes a little drink with my ice.  So, a thermal cup is in order.  And, yes, I realize it is ugly and old.  But none of the cute new ones let me wake up to a cup that still has ice in it.  There you have it.

The clock...a necessary evil. The most important aspect of the clock?  The snooze button.  I am one of those people who set the alarm early enough so that I can hit the snooze at least two times....three to four times is FABULOUS!!  Joe is the guy who wakes before the alarm or hears it and gets right out of bed.  Not me.  Those nine minutes of snooze time are the best sleep EVER!  I mean, good, hard, deep sleep!  Me loves me snooze button.

A picture of my kiddos.  It's an old one of them on Christmas Eve many years ago.  It is sweet and tender and melts my heart.  It's back when Harrison was still really enamored with having a little sister and before she could talk very well.  Hee! Hee!

Then there's that lovely yellow water can with fake flowers.  I admit, I hate fake flowers.  But my little one brought that home from church one night.  And a couple of days later I found it on my bedside table.  I gave it back to her.  She kept putting it back on my table.  She told me she just wanted me to have some beautiful flowers to look at.  They made her think of me.  Ahhhhhh!  Seriously, they might be there forever.

On top of  a stack of books is a little picture with the words “What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, For all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”  - Helen Keller  My friend Kela gave me that picture after my mom died.  It meant a lot to me then.  It means a lot to me now.  


Here comes the dork part.  I have two book journals.   One is a journal that I keep of all the books I read.  I rate them all on a scale of 0-5.  I write a review.  It is going to be worth millions some day.  (You know I'm joking, right?)  The other journal I keep for my book club.  


The "aging" part are the glasses.  I can't read without them.  I mean, I know how to read without them. But the print would have to be so big the weight of all the books would probably send the bedside table crashing to the ground.  And because I used to tease my grandma about having "driving glasses, piano glasses, sewing glasses, and reading glasses" I now have "reading glasses, computer glasses, and a pair just for menus".  Geez!  It sucks getting old.  


The rest are books.  Well...in case the books aren't enough, there is a Nook in the mix somewhere too.  The closest stack is always what I'm reading or in the queue to read.  For instance, in this picture there is "What Alice Forgot", our book club book for last month.  There is also "Clara and Mr. Tiffany", which I finished last night.  And Tim Tebow's biography, which I started last week.  There are a couple more that are in the lineup.  And I need to download "Smarty Pants" to the Nook for this month's book club.  Then, at the back of the table is the "reference section".  It has books about raising your boy, raging the rapids with teenagers, marriage, a Bible study, and a couple of non-fiction books about China's hutongs being torn down for the Beijing Olympics.  


I'm going to go ahead and admit that there is a huge wedge pillow next to the table that I use to sit up and read in bed.  I think I see where this is going.  My table says I like to read.  It is my favorite little space of time at the end of the day.  The Nook is nice, but I love to hold my book in my hands.  I love to thumb through a book.  I like to read all the acknowledgements and post scripts.  I like to dog ear the pages, especially if I want to remember something on that page.  I'm not afraid to mark in a book, as long as I own it.  However, I got carried away and started marking in my friend Jenny's book.  That reminds me, I need to replace that for her.  


So....just curious....what's on your bedside table?

Birth Mother's Day

I read somewhere that today is "Birth Mother's Day".  And I have to admit, it is a time where I think a lot about my daughter's birth mother and mine too.  I'm so grateful that these women chose life.  And I'm grateful that they thought beyond themselves.

Fifty years into this adoption thing, I have found that adoption is just a part of my story, it does not define me.  It's where my story began.  And 44 years later, it is where my daughter's story began.  As she grows we find ourselves saying more and more "you're your father's child" or "you're your mother's child", just like we have with Harrison.  Because, even though her eyes are brown and mine are blue, we do resemble each other a bit.  We both have a bit of a creative side to us and sometimes we just don't notice all the details.  Other times we are very intent on whatever it is we are working on.  And to be honest, we both love a good "pajama day".

In a few weeks, Clara is going to be in a wedding.  The morning after she tried on her flower girl dress I found a little list she had written herself...
    "dres
     shoos
     flowors
     har
     bun"
She had made herself a list of things to remember for the wedding!  Dress, shoes, flowers, hair, bun.  The girl loves to have her hair in a bun.  I laughed so hard!  She is her father's child!!!  (Because of the list, not the bun.)  And when I go out and look at my vegetables growing in my garden, I have to think "I'm my father's child" too. I realize that somewhere out there is a woman, who I am told I look just like.  She is a gift.  She gave me the gift of life.  And the gift of a life she felt would be better than what she had to offer at that time.  And I grew up very loved and very much my parents' child.

Somewhere in China is a woman I love but will probably never know.  I often wonder what her circumstances were.  She kept Clara for about two months.  It's hard to picture the day that she laid her in the bushes outside that hospital, hoping she would quickly be found.  Did she hide across the street by the school and watch until someone picked Clara up and called the police?  Or did she feel she had to flee for fear of being caught?  Did she cry for days?  Or did she have to hide her pain from those around her?  Does she look at little faces in China wondering if one of them is her daughter?  Does she have peace, knowing deep in her heart that she is loved and cared for?  Does she still weep?  Can she speak of her pain?  Does she have a joyful life?  I look in my beautiful girl's face and wonder so many things.  But mostly, I praise God for the miracle of adoption.  And I pray that her birth mother hears about Jesus and finds peace in Him.  And I ask God to never let me forget the sacrifice made by that woman so far away.

Easter 2012

                                               So proud of her colorful eggs!

                                                             I love them!

                                            Growing up WAY too fast!

                                            Easter basket goodies this year.

                                                      Ready for the hunt!

                                         Pretty azaleas....beautiful girl!

                                     Let the annual hunt begin at MawMaw's house!

                                       And she's off!  Eggs everywhere!

                                                Christine and Clara...two of my favorites!

                                                  Clara and her Bobby!

                              The neighborhood littles checking out their goods!

                                         Clara and Evvy enjoying their baskets together.

                                        I love our street.....best neighbors ever!

                                         Fun was had by all....even the bigs!

I love Easter!  It was 30 years ago this year that I gave my heart to the Lord at Easter.  A big old basketball player from OSU led me to the Lord.  So, this is always a special time for me to reflect on all the God has blessed me with.

Over the last many months I have done a study on James, heard a detailed study on I Peter at church, read the books Radical, Kisses From Katie, and "7".  All of these books are challenging me.  Mostly I'm challenged to become less and less about the things of this world and more and more about eternal things.  I find myself thinking about how much "stuff" I have, what I could do to change the world for God if I gave up a lot of my stuff.  I guess I'm just really feeling convicted about stewardship.  Not just money, but stewardship of my time, my gifts, my love and everything else that God has entrusted me with.

So, I decided that a basket full of candy, movies, i-tunes cards, or whatever just wasn't really what I wanted to make of Easter with my kids.  How could we still enjoy their childhood AND draw them to Christ? So their baskets looked a little different this year.  Joe went on a mission trip to Ecuador earlier this year.  So, we gave each of the kids a small nativity scene that was made in Ecuador.  It's not just for Easter, but can stay out in their rooms all year long to remind them daily of God's ultimate gift to us.  Jesus gave his life for us.  So, giving a bunch of junk on Easter just seemed silly.  We opted to pay for a little boy's education for the year in Ecuador.  I know that sounds kind of honorable, doesn't it.  Not really!  You see, this cute little guy, Stephen, wouldn't get to attend school at all because the cost for him to have uniforms, books and tuition for the year was $80.  Yes folks, $80...not $800....not $8000.  So with $80....which is less than we spend on eating out in a two week period....we are sending Stephen to school this year.  I was so glad to think of a tangible way to do something to honor God for Easter.  Then, before I pulled another muscle patting myself on the back, I realized that Harrison is 15.  Yep...15!  So, we've had 15 Easters with candy and meaningless gifts.  I'm embarrassed that 30 years ago I asked Jesus into my heart and was changed forever.  And just now, I thought about maybe doing something to honor him at Easter.

Don't get me wrong.  We always go to church on Easter.  We gather with other believers and celebrate.  And...we hunt eggs.  And....we eat...a lot!  And before we have even gotten hungry again, we eat some more.  Really....30 years!  No wonder God keeps putting lessons in front of me to "mess me up"!

Our Easter day was full of blessings.  We gathered at the Merideth homestead for Easter lunch.  This family has embraced us like we are a part of their family for many years now.  Since we don't have any family here, they will never know how much that means to us.  Then in the evening, we celebrated Easter with our neighbors.  We all pitched in and had a feast in a couple of the front yards while the kids hunted eggs (yep....that makes 3 times that day.  Nope....I have not arrived!).  I looked around while I was sitting in my lawn chair eating again and thought "this is what God's church looks like!"  You see, on our street we have five adopted kiddos.  We have a family from India who are believers.  We had every skin color on the palette represented.  We had several students from Rwanda with us.  I took some snapshots on the camera this time.  But I filled my memory with snapshots of our neighbors visiting and enjoying each other, getting to know new friends from Rwanda, watching the littles hunt eggs, and the bigs play games up and down the street.

I love Easter!

Snapshots

Although I can't seem to remember my address somedays, I seem to have a photographic memory on other things.  I feel like I'm looking at life through a camera lens sometimes, and taking snapshots in my mind.  And the older I get, the more I slow down and savor those little snapshots.  The last few weeks I've had a few stand out that I've enjoyed closing my eyes and replaying over and over again.  Like a few weeks ago when we went to dinner with my dad and Jean up in Tulsa one evening.  Dad has always been great with kids and has really embraced and loves our kids.  I got a little misty when I looked up and saw Dad and Clara holding hands and skipping down the sidewalk together.  I'm not sure whose smile was bigger. 

Then a couple of weeks ago the big kid went on a mission trip.  He has done this before.  But this time he went all the way to Nashville and was gone for a week.  Standing in our driveway at the crack of dawn (literally) before I took Harrison to the church, I snapped another picture in my memory.  Joe, Harrison (my big old hairy-legged boy) and myself, huddled together praying with the sun rising behind us.  Made my heart skip a beat.  So blessed to have a husband who prays.  Humbled to get to parent this boy that I love more than I can express.  And amazed that my baby is six feet tall and going off to serve the homeless and others in the inner city for a week. 

Harrison got home from the mission trip at 2:30 in the morning.  So Clara was anxiously waiting for him to wake up late the next morning.  When he did, she was ready to be the first one to give him some love.  I looked over and my very tired boy was holding his little sister, snuggled close, and she was purring....literally.  Snap!  Makes my heart happy! 

And earlier this week, I sat in the stands watching a track meet.  Still a bit amazed at the runner this boy of ours has become.  But even more amazed at the things he is learning through this whole running thing.  He has a teammate that is a very talented runner too.  In cross country there was a little bit of tension at the beginning of the year.  Everyone trying to find their place, making their way as freshmen.  My boy is as competetive as they come, he loves to win.  But he also loves to be a part of a team.  This little rivalry could have gone a couple of ways.  But I just had to smile and snap a picture in my mind at the track meet.  These two guys, running the 2-mile race together.  Running at the front of the pack, setting the pace, working together as a team.  Smiling and enjoying the race and the friendship they have formed.  Finishing first and second.  And when it was over, my boy telling me "that was the most fun race ever!"  He and his friend work together, they encourage each other, they challenge each other and sometimes, they even trade off who wins the race.  I forgot my camera that day, but I've got that snapshot saved!

Time for some Claraisms

My girl is funny!  Okay...hysterical!  And she still just says the cutest things.  So, it's time for some of the latest Claraisms.  Enjoy!

"Daddy, we went to Sonic and I had teeter totters."  (tater tots)

"Wanna play a game of wool?"  (war)

"Beniz naughty ducks..."  (Feliz Navidad)

Clara calls her big brother "Buddy"......
   "Buddy loves syrup.  Not Buddy our son." 

She is learning to read, so I bought a classic collection of  "Dick and Jane" books....but she calls them
  "Chick and Jane" or occasionally "Nook and Jane". 

She told Buddy one day "you are giving me a hiccup."

"If you spell dog backwards it spells Jesus."

Clara loves to eat "Chicken Slow Made" (chicken lo mein)

"Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Kai Lan laid an egg."  (She carries on the Pierce gift for song lyrics.)

"Do you know what an upside down "i" is?  An exciting mark.  Like "Mommy is so happy...exciting mark."
  (exclamation point)

"Are we going to do anything?  I'm so boring!" 

"Buddy, you are making me so annoying!" 

And one of our personal favorites....one night Clara had Judy (her bitty baby....very important part of the family) sitting in her chair at the table. Judy has a very specific high pitched baby voice.   And "Judy" just kept talking sassy to Daddy.  So Daddy warned Judy that if she didn't stop being sassy, she was going to get her mommy (Clara) in trouble.  Well, Judy just couldn't restrain herself and she was sassy again.  So, Daddy sent Clara to the stairs for timeout.  Oh the wailing and gnashing of teeth!  Clara was so offended and wounded.  When she finally came back to the table, she was pretty inconsolable.  She cried to her daddy "why you call me Judy instead of this little baby, I'm Clara!!!  It was Judy that was being sassy!"  She was totally serious, big crocodile tears.  Her brother was really helpful, as he was laying on the table laughing until he cried.  Okay....I might have had a couple of laughter tears myself.  Joe stayed the course.  But eventually had to leave the room before he burst! 

Oh how this child makes me smile!!!

Celebrating the small victories

Funny how our perspective changes as we get older.  When I was in my twenties I thought I might change the world.  In my thirties I very much enjoyed my little world.  In my forties I was busy in my little world.  And now, in the fifties, I'm just happy to celebrate small victories.  Funny what can make a girl happy at this point.  Here are a few of my favorites lately.

- I weighed less at my annual exam than I did this time last year. Whoop!  Whoop!  Can I get an amen sister?!

- My children eat fish.  I know, sounds silly.  But honestly, each time I fix some salmon or tilapia for dinner and my children get excited and all happy and scarf it down, I get happy.  You see, for me at their age, if a meal didn't include Funyuns or Chicken in a Biskit crackers, it just wasn't a meal.  The only fish we ate came in stick form.  Fruit and vegetables came from cans.  Except when my dad grew it in the garden....but I didn't really like those vegetables...because he didn't grow corn.  So the real victory here?  I have evolved!  Well, at least a little.  Honestly, the big kid got so excited when he saw the fish in the oven last night that I think I strained a muscle patting myself on the back.

- I let the big kid drive right after he got his permit.  I realize this isn't a huge thing for most people.  But I am one of those people who just gets really nervous about other people's driving.  YES....I KNOW IT IS A CONTROL THING!  I've been this way since I was a little girl.  My mom used to scare the poo out of me.   I very possibly rode on the floor of my mom's yellow Vega the whole time she was driving through some curving roads in Arkansas on a "girls trip" when I was like 11.  Now you get it, right?!  It's a big deal that I let the teenager behind the wheel...of MY car...on a rainy morning...only moments after he got his permit.  Just sayin! 

- Did I mention that I weighed less at my annual exam this year than I did last year?

- I started a book club with some friends.  I've missed being in a book club the last few years.  But schedules and little ones and big ones just made it impossible.  So, I found some friends who were flexible with times and seem to like similar books.  So I started a book club.  Yippee Skippee!!!   In case you didn't know, I love books.  And I love to talk books with my friends.  Unfortunately, I should not be in charge of anything.  Because I couldn't even remember what day we were meeting this month.  BUT...I surround myself with younger friends with better memories.  So, it all works out! 

- I got my reading glasses back that I left at the Wine Bar last month at book club.  I got them back when we went to same said Wine Bar for book club this month.  I count that a victory because I actually remembered to get them while Iwas there.  Obviously I never managed to do that in the 30 days in between book club. 

It's all about celebrating the small victories people! 

The best gifts...

In my lifetime, God has blessed me with some wonderful friends.  Mostly, God has surpised me with friendships that were totally ordained by him.  I'm not one of those people who has friendships from my childhood that have lasted my whole life.  We moved several times when I was growing up.  And I had good friends at each location, but it's hard to keep really close friendships long distance when you are growing up.  I'll admit, there are times when I'm a little jealous of people who have been best friends since they were kids.  That is a gift!  BUT...God has more than made up for that with the friends he has given me over the past twenty years. 

Harrison has several friends that he has known since he was little.  I love looking at pictures of Harrison and Braden when they were toddlers and then seeing them both now that they are six feet tall.  Or Harrison and his buddy Bradley, who even though Brad moved away several years ago, they have truly maintained a good friendship long distance.  I've found the friends Harrison has to be such a blessing.  There is nothing like knowing your children have wonderful friendships. 

And Clara, bless her heart, has been drug around to all her big brother's activities since the minute she came home.  And I'll admit I haven't been as good at fostering close friendships for her.  But God is faithful, even when I'm not.  Harrison and I are people who need that one very best friend.  We have lots of friends, but we need to know that we have that one BFF who has our back no matter what.  Clara...well, she likes to have everyone be best friends.  She includes everybody.  She is the girl I wanted to be best friends with growing up.  She's easy going, everybody loves her, she's forgiving, she doesn't mind sharing.  She's much like my best friend Jenny from junior high and high school. 

It's funny how things work out.  We finally found a flock (small group) at church that was the right fit for us.  It's a family flock.  We meet in someone's home and bring the kids and we eat dinner, worship, study the Word, and pray together.  In the midst of finding this flock, God brought me a friend...another Jenny...who totally gets me.  Now I've been blessed with my "C" friends, Christine and Christi, who not only get me, but love me in spite of me.  And I figured that was pretty generous.  But...God went ahead and gave me another friend as a bonus. 

Well, about 16 months ago, Jenny and her family welcomed their new daughter Lauren into their family.  Lauren was almost five when she came home from China.  She had a "special need"...except someone forgot to tell her that.  Lauren's hands and feet are shaped different from most peoples.  But, that child can do just about anything you can imagine, she is one independent little fire cracker.  She is loud and hilarious and absolutely contagious!  Well, Lauren and Clara have become buddies.  Lauren often calls her buddy "MyClara" when she speaks to or about her.  These two make me laugh.  They had their first sleepover the other night.  And Lauren promptly came down with tap shoes on (did I mention we have brick floors?).  We learned pretty quickly to hide the microphone with the amplifier when Lauren is coming...did I mention she is loud? 

But what I love the most about these two little cuties is how sweet their friendship is.  Clara never tries to mother Lauren.  But she watches and then if Lauren is having trouble doing something with her hands, Clara will sweetly ask "would you like any help?"   One time in the car when they were getting buckled I heard Clara say "it must be kinda hard to do that with just one finger."  Lauren said "yeah, sometimes." It's not because she sees Lauren as having a "special need", it's just Clara's heart to want to help.  And Lauren, she truly loves and appreciates Clara.  She is the picture of happiness when she spies her friend Clara.  The other day Lauren was here and it was beautiful outside.  So the girls were drawing with sidewalk chalk.  I snapped a picture of the girls tracing each others hands.  It is a beautiful picture of their friendship.  You see neither one of them sees the other as different, they just see their friend.  Isn't that how God wants us to see each other?  Just the way He sees us.

                                                     Best Friends

                                            You just never know what they are up to.

Thank you God, for sweet friends!